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  • Writer's pictureUmaSofia Srivastava

How to be an It-Girl:Taylor's Version

Hello Swifties!! I have been a Taylor fan for as long as I can remember - in 2012 I was 4 going on 22 - and I have not shied away from talking about her on my blog. So imagine my excitement when I found out that I was going to do a Taylor themed collab blog with Emma who is a killer Taylor swift blogger and Jess who's blog is what every girl needs! (click their names to check out their blogs!) If anyone comes to mind when you mention an It-Girl, it should be her. Smart, kind, courageous and not to mention jaw-droppingly gorgeous, Taylor has it all! I think all of us can learn a few lessons or two from her, so read on to learn about how the artist of the decade got to where she was!



1. Don't be afraid to enter your reputation era


“I swear I don’t love the drama it loves me!” People are jealous of successful women, it's a fact! It's because we are already at a disadvantage in society, so to achieve a decade long legacy of music in a biased industry is a huge accomplishment. Don’t stoop to your hater's level (you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes); while you're working on yourself, they're wasting time thinking about you instead of trying to better themselves. It's a never ending cycle, people spend more time worrying about the people they're jealous of, than being inspired to do better. Then they are surprised when the gap between them and the person they've fixated on gets larger, fueling even more resentment. “They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one. So light me up.”So to

make themselves feel better, you'll often find people demonizing you to take away from your accomplishments (recall a certain singers comments filled with snake emojis). But being a snake isn’t such a bad thing. "Only bite if someone steps on you...grow a backbone, trust your gut, and know when to strike back."



2. Know yourself better than anyone

“I know my flaws before other people point them out to me." When you're an it-girl, we already established that the general public will always be in your business, some waiting to watch you fail. You need to make sure that you are in control of your image, even when the media thinks they've gotten the better of you. I'm sure you've heard her shamed for the amount of boyfriends she's had, the feuds with Kanye, Kim, and Katy, the possible secret relationship with a certain female model (so many K's!), but the thing is that all of these stories were driven by the media. Nearly all of it was speculation, and even with the 'so-called' proof from the 'Famous' music video drama, that was found to be edited (the lengths irrelevant people go to!) Let people think what they want, at the end of the day you know who you truly are.


3. My reputation’s never been worse, so you must like me for me



"All you need to do to be my friend is like me.” Most of the time, there are two kinds of people you'll be most likely to meet as an it girl: the people who hate you, and the people that hate you so much they want to be your friend. The first are easy enough to handle, but the second are toxic backstabbers that you need to be on a lookout for, otherwise you'll be playing bad blood on repeat. Look for someone who lifts you up in both public AND private, someone who sticks with you in the long run no matter what. You're real friends shouldn't care about the he-said she-said. This also applies to your s/o: they should not care about what they hear from outsiders if you have built a relationship of trust between each other . If all else fails, you can stumble on home to your cats.



4. On bad boys and playboys


“I think every girl's dream is to find a bad boy at the right time, when he wants to not be bad anymore.” But this is a dream for a reason. Regardless of what you may hear, it's very rare that people change, especially when it comes to a toxic relationship. It's toxic because the highs and lows, the adrenaline is addicting to both people involved, which is why it's such a tough cycle to break. Before you truly get to know a possible s/o, "take the words for what they are, a dwindling mercurial high/ a drug that only worked, the first few hundred time" because you don't want to set high expectations for someone who can't meet them. Don't interpret this as me giving you the green light to lower your standards, actually quite the opposite. Have standards so strong that you know how to love and leave if you need to. And if someone does try playing you? Give them a taste of their own medicine: “I never trust a playboy, but they love me. So I fly ’em all around the world and I let them think they saved me.”



5. “Just because you make a good plan, doesn't mean that's what's gonna happen.”

Being an it-girl means you always have to think on your feet, and that means being prepared. Wardrobe malfunction? Act like it was intentional, or better yet, don't acknowledge it at all! Certain male rapper (Karma’s a bitch!!) come on stage during the 2009 VMAs while you receive the Best Female Music Award? “Silence speaks so much louder than screaming tantrums. Never give anyone an excuse to say that you're crazy.” Instead, gracefully accept your award like the it-girl you are, one of the greatest female singers of all time has your back. Remember what I said about connections? And trash? I’m sure you can discern who is who…




Speaking of the 2009 VMAs…


6. You don’t always have to forgive and forget


"I forgot that you existed , It isn't love, it isn't hate, it's just indifference." Haters are gonna hate, but just shake it off! Now I know you might think these are conflicting statements, but I promise you, once you master both you’ll be unshakeable. I am not a proponent of grudges, I think they fatigue your spirit and corrode your soul because of the hate and resentment you end up harboring, and an it-girl does not concern herself with such low vibrational feelings. HOWEVER! You don’t have to forget the things people have done to you, as long as you don't let it affect you. Now you might not have a long-standing, mostly one sided feud with an egoist (or you might), but I’ll give you a not-so star studded example: a group of girls who spread nasty rumors about me (and I mean absolutely vile!) wanted to become friends with me after I started gaining more followers. I mean first of all, how superficial can one be? So, while I worked on healing myself so that I no longer felt an attachment to the person I was in some of my darkest moments, I made sure not to forget that it really did happen. “I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put ’em.” My feelings then were valid. I owe nothing to those girls, to anyone, and neither should you. Just remember: "you don’t have to forgive and you don’t have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things happening. You just become indifferent, and then you move on."


7. “We don't need to share the same opinions as each other, but we need to be respectful”

As an it-girl, you thrive on being well connected. And being well connected means making acquaintances from all walks of life - regardless of race, age, gender, and values - most of the people you meet will have an important lesson to offer you. This doesn't mean I'm giving you permission to have a savior complex, (regardless of what instagram therapy tells you, you don't have to accept that you're a “healer” just because you've gotten hurt so many times and the other people are seemingly doing better) I mean that you’ll sometimes have to make conversation with some REALLY unpleasant people. Don’t go seeking out trash though, only cultivate meaningful relationships that have something to offer you. While some might think that transactional relationships are completely Machiavellian, I think that all of us are simply products of our society, and we should utilize the tools we’ve been given to provide the best opportunities for ourselves (if that's what you so choose). Not a Taylor Swift quote but I’m sure she’d agree: “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”


8. Be Fearless


“I think fearless is having fears but jumping anyway.”Always know what you want, have a plan to achieve it, and that you can achieve it. There will always be excuses not to do something that will prevent you from going down a path that might change your life, but you have to take a leap of faith. "Never believe anyone who tells you that you don't deserve what you want"





If anything, this post has shown me that Taylor Swift never misses, with lyrics obviously, but regular quotes too. Seeing her grow up to achieve so much and being the age she started at now is truly amazing, and I hope that other young girls continue to see her as a role model. Big thank you to both Emma and Jess for helping me with the lyrics and quotes, I couldn't have done it without you. Somewhat related: I'm thinking of making this a series, so comment who your favorite it-girl under this post and you might see me cover her next!


Bye Bye Baby!


UmaSofia










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